She's blu-ray

Best post title ever. Go ye and be enlightened.

I especially liked this comment: "Now that I know the kiss means more than the hug, I know what I'm after..." You have to read the post for proper context. It's a good piece of wisdom.

I've never had a steady girl who didn't love to give head, so this problem thankfully hasn't -- heh, heh -- cropped up. I've had a couple say they don't like to receive head. Um... ok! I don't mind giving if she likes that, but I'd rather hop right to the other stuff, all things being equal.

A friend of mine married one of those 8-track girls, the kind who doesn't give head (Chris Rock: they still make you??). She's gorgeous, smart, sweet, and all that. But to give up head for life? He must really love her. I don't think I'd make it past the trust tests (I hate those tests, but see the necessity).

I suspect she does it anyway. I've long believed that when a girl says she just doesn't give head, what she means is, she doesn't give head to you. Earn her trust and catch her on her period, or just catch her on her period, and you can't go wrong.

What I find odd about all of this is that for our parents' generation, straight sex was the lesser expression of love, and head was the ultimate. Obviously now it's completely reversed. BJ's are like handshakes. Nice, warm handshakes that put you in a good mood for days.

Women, don't underestimate the power of the BJ.

Furnace 1, TSS 0

Ok fine, I turned the heat on. I'll put up with much colder temps than most other people, but I have to draw the line somewhere. If I have to pull the comforter over my face to keep it warm at night, it's too cold.

In my defence, Seattle is having a cold snap the likes of which I've never seen here. It's like, below freezing and snowing and stuff. Imagine! I'll become a weather wuss eventually, but I've still got it for now.

I'm endlessly amused at how freaked out everyone here gets over a little snow. A storm is going to start around 5pm, and everyone is taking off early. A girl I met in the elevator told me how she had to hurry and go shopping before the storm hit, so they would have stuff to eat once they were "snowed in".

The estimated accumulation? A "trace to 2 inches with light ice accumulation possible" and then it's going to rain tomorrow. I mean jeez louise people, grow a pair. This is not the Great Snowstorm of '06 as some are calling it. It's not all their fault though, as an impending snow storm makes for great filler on a slow news day, and everyone wants to think they persevere through bad circumstances.


I saw the surgeon today and he gave me a whole new bottle of painkillers. What a guy! I still prefer a nice scotch, but I'm not going to complain. Everything is fine, btw.

Do you know how much stuff can fit up your nose? I'll bet you, like me before this, have no idea what all can go up in there. I base my knowledge on the volume of what comes out. You really don't want to know what's been coming out of my nose, so let's just say that it's interesting, and there's alot of it.


UPDATE:
Big surprise, there was no snow catastrophe Thursday morning. Of course, anyone with a 3rd grade reading level could have told them that by looking at the forecast. What a bunch of weather wimps.

And since I'm talking about weather, this month was Seattle's wettest on record, beating out December 1933. That makes me feel slightly better about the damp hole in my ceiling, but not much.

Redneck cooter

This takes you to pics of Britney Spears' cooter. Not work safe, obviously.

I'm not linking this out of perversion or obsession, but to make the point that she's just a dumb redneck chick who carelessly flashes her poonanner to the paparazzi. That's all she ever was.

Several words come to mind, but right now I'm thinking classless.

Office prank gone wrong

This reminds me of someone I know (sfw vid). JB and RCR, doesn't that remind you of a formerly purple haired friend of ours?

I love YouTube.

Wind power

Anyone know if this program is legit? Seems like there's no way to know if they really convert that much of the grid over to wind.

I haven't chosen the charity I'm going to give to this year yet, and converting to wind power sounds like a great idea to me, so I'd like this to be true. I guess if Whole Foods is behind it, they probably did their research (has Whole Foods been too successful yet, or are they still hep?).

I'm going to give to more than one place this year. Any ideas? There's always the Salvation Army and other organizations like that, but they have a pretty healthy budget in a place like Seattle. The more obscure and localized the better, aside from this wind energy thing.

Maybe I'll give to the church down the street. They feed the homeless every week and I'll bet they could use a mysterious large donation from an anonymous infidel.

UPDATE:
For 5 bucks a month, it's worth it. I am now "part of the solution". Yay for me, and more importantly, yay for clean energy and foreign oil independence.

I still get the feeling this is really just a donation to wind power companies. I mean, do they turn turbines off delaying power onto the grid until they receive enough credits to turn one on? I seriously doubt it. But I'll make this donation for the time being.

Furnace challenge

Last year I made it all winter only turning the heat on twice. This year I'm going for the entire season. I haven't touched the thermostat yet.

The main exception is if I have a girl over. Girls are always cold, and I certainly want to encourage warmth and comfort in those circumstances. But otherwise it's a flannel and some warm pants, and cooking something in the oven never hurts.

I can do it. The winter is laughingly mild here compared to Chicago and Michigan. For perspective, it's fun to read what I wrote last spring after my first winter here.

In short, yeah, the overcast raininess gets old, but it's better than relentless snowstorms. And as an aside, it baffles me how people from Seattle are so clueless as to how to drive in the rain. You'd think they'd have had plenty of practice, but I guess there's no curing False Belief in SUV Invincibility Disorder.

A white Christmas

Youtube on how cocaine is made. I was surprised at how prominent a role gasoline plays.

Thanksgiving story

I'm blessed in that I don't have the hugely dysfunctional family that some describe. Oh, we have our dysfunctions, but they don't rise to the level of shouting over holiday dinners. Usually.


I was 16 or so. My brother wasn't around that year, but my sister and her then fiancee (who I wasn't too sure about) were there, plus my parents. My Mom always makes a kickass turkey dinner, and this was no exception. She once spent 3 hours perfecting the gravy. But I digress.

When it was time to eat, I greedily heaped a sinful amount of turkey on my plate, and slathered the fucker in a gravy tsunami. No stuffing, no nasty-ass cranberry sauce, no weird casserole with crunchy things on top, and most definitely no totally lame green beans. Just turkey, gravy, and ok, maybe a little bit of stuffing.

The big guy, the one who showed up for family events and performed duties like slicing the turkey and dispensing unsolicited advice, took exception to the lack of green beans on my plate. Usually we got along fine, but I hadn't seen the guy for what seemed like years anyway, so I wasn't inclined to bend in this case. And christ, it was Thanksgiving! Who the hell cares about nutrition on Thanksgiving?

So I just walked off with my cholester-plate and figured that was the end of it. Nope. With surprising quickness, he dropped the carving knife and intercepted me at the doorway into the dining room.

"Green. Beans." he said sternly, pointing a finger in my face. "Who the fuck is this guy?" I was thinking. You're at work 12 hours a day, I never see you, and now, on this seemingly trivial issue, you're going to start arbitrarily enforcing rules?

I tried to work my way around him, but he actually snatched the plate out of my hands. He was quicker and stronger than I expected him to be. Being a teenaged boy, my fight or flight response was dialed way over to "fight". I came really close to blowing up right there, but my Mom coaxed me down, while telling my Dad he was a jerk.

I left the dinner entirely and went to my "cave", the downstairs area which had my room and all my video games and whatnot. I was just getting my keys though. I could have Thanksgiving dinner with at least 4 other families. I didn't have to take this shit. No one understands the true injustice of the world better than a teenage white boy from the suburbs.

My realization that I left them upstairs preceded the unmistakable jingling sound of keys going into a pocket by about 2 nanoseconds. Ah, damn! Now I was stuck.

My sister was sent to negotiate the terms, me still brooding in my lair. The terms were, I could not eat at all and stay home all night. Or I could eat dinner with them, with a reasonable side of green beans of course, and get the keys back.

Obviously I ate dinner with them, but no way was I going to let it slide that easily. I heaped a ridiculous pile of green beans on a new plate, and put nothing else, save a little salt. Then I went in there, wolfed it down in about 4 seconds, and was generally a prick the whole time. Then I got the keys from my Dad, and left.

I'm not sure who won the encounter, but I think I did, because I was more than surly at the dinner and he didn't retaliate. I found out later he was secretly proud of me.

It's hilarious now, but I was really pissed at the time. Imagine the nerve, to treat me like a kid! My sister's fiancee was surely mortified.


To this day, every Thanksgiving my Dad calls and asks if I've had my green beans, and we get a laugh. I always lie and tell him I have.

Why the hell am I going to eat stupid old green beans on Thanksgiving? It's Thanksgiving!

Trojan horse

Hilarious youtube of some guys testing the trojan horse theory (seeing if they can sneak an invasion force inside a wooden horse).

In other hilarity-related news, I saw part of an old Monty Python episode the other day, and it was surprisingly good. I may have to catch more of those.


My nose is still bleeding, but it's down to merely a steady dribble. I've been avoiding going out because either I have a tissue hanging out of my nose, or I look like a cokehead on a binge as inexplicable nosebleeds crop up with alarming frequency. Also the pain killers are now so ineffective, I've stopped taking them.

This has not been the happiest half week of my life. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking there are such things as "minor" surgery.

From NY to WV

Cool pair of photos.

And if you're wondering why I'm blogging on a Saturday evening, it has something to do with the persistent bleeding out my nose.

Savages

This BBC take on the game is hilarious. It kind of reminds me of when NPR tries to cover sports, it's got that "sociologist studying the natives" tone.

RIP

Wish you would have made it at least one more day, Bo.

State pride

There are times when I'm damned proud to be from a great state like Washington, even if we did outlaw bestiality last year.

I mean, if the government is going to subsidize something, it may as well be microbrews.

Good to know

Just for the record, I have an alibi for the night of October 19th.

Disjointed comments

This picture is hilarious. Surprise!

I hope they give me lots of good painkillers tomorrow.

If you voluntarily skip the Michigan/Ohio State game on Saturday, I hate you.

Life altering events

I suppose it happens to everyone at some point, where in their life they see an event coming that will surely define an era for them, a "before" and an "after". I'm facing such an event myself, in just a few short days. I shouldn't be upset, I should be glad that unlike a murder or an accident, at least I see it coming.

I have arrangements for rides to and from, as I surely won't be in a condition to drive myself home after this. Friends and family are stopping by and bringing food. I have a slew of DVDs to fill my downtime, and the internet is never far away.

Sure, I'm a little nervous. Who wouldn't be? But I'm not afraid. Soon it will all be over, and we'll finally know who the best team in the Big Ten, and the country, is.


Oh, also I'm having nose surgery on Thursday to clear out my nasal passages.

GO BLUE!

Racial slurs

Here's every racial slur you've never heard of. I don't know why this is anything anyone needs to know, but here it is regardless.

UPDATE: I found some slurs for Icelandic people that came in handy, so maybe there's value to this post afterall.

Idiot test

This is funny. How many tries did it take you to pass? Be honest!

I'm a vote whore

My pumpkin was accepted into the Flying Spaghetti Monster Pumpkin contest. It's #34, and the pic isn't so hot, but I would still love it if you wouldn't mind going over there and voting. I probably won't win, but what the hell, ya know? I spent a whole freakin' day on it. I might as well get something out of it.

In other news, a bunch of fucked up family shit happened that I can't discuss. Aren't you glad you know that? Let's just say that most of you probably think you have problems in your life. You don't. Just trust me. For most of you, your life is a fucking walk in the park compared to other people (I'm not saying I have a hard life, not at all, just that I know what one looks like).


Here are some pics that didn't doctor up as nicely as I'd hoped (the carvings are complete, it just doesn't look like it):




The star and circle are scraped thin to let (in this case, not enough) light through.




This was all one level of scraping, with a some features scraped in. You should have seen the other guys' carvings. This is pedestrian next to theirs.




This was the hardest one. You can't really tell here, but the autobot symbol has 4 levels of shading. There's completely cut out (eyes), light shading ("surface" of face straight on), dark shading ("surfaces" off to the side that show the 3-d effect), and rind (brows and triangle on forehead). You can see it better if you click on it for the closeup.




This was done by my "mentor". You can't see it here, but he not only carved muscles into god's arm, but veins. These guys are good.




I have tons more pics if anyone's interested.