Christmas is ...

Christmas is carrying your Dad to his walker behind the door so he can make his own way out to the tree as though nothing is (completely) wrong.

Do the vest buttons line up? Yep. Santa hat? Yes. Bolo? Check. Like the bolo, by the way. Nice half shaving job, old man, shit. Whatever. Ok, roll old man, roll!


Be thankful for what you have people. Be thankful. It doesn't last forever.


What is Christmas for you?




Sorry to be a downer! It's all good. I'm hanging with the best family a person could hope for (meaning dysfunctional as all hell), and in the jacuzzi at that.

The roiling water assuages and the wine abides. Things could be worse. Things could also be better, but then, couldn't they always be? No complaints, no complaints. But I'll be sad if I want to. Paradise death is just as permanent.



The only clear bit of wisdom I've gleaned from this experience is: all the money in the world means jack fucking squat. You wanna know the key to life?

The key to life is people. Surround yourself with good people, and you will live (and die) well. People. Friends and family. That's it. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? It is.



Well Merry effin Christmas, right? I may be the only cynic-optimist, wherein I'm convinced the world will get better, but for the wrong reasons.


I wish the best for you all! This is my own effed up way of sending you love, so enjoy it, dipshits.

AVPR

Why didn't anyone tell me there was a new Alien vs. Predator movie? (warning, noisy promotional website) trailer

Christmas Day just got that much better! And I'm pleased to see it's R. The first AVP suffered from its PG-13 rating (but was still, obviously, one of the greatest movies ever made). The actual greatest movie ever made is, without question, the original Predator. I wonder what will ensue in the little Colorado town this chapter takes place in? One can only hope it's shenanigans!



I'm probably the only one who liked AVP. That's ok. I'm used to liking movies no one else does. I also thought The Hulk, and The Postman were good flicks. Yeah, yeah, Costner's a douche, but it has Tom Petty in it, and once you realize it's all about misplaced devotion, it gets alot better. I actually didn't like it that much... I just didn't think it sucked like everyone else did, so I bring it up.

The Hulk was awesome in a subtle way. I think everyone expected a straightforward action flick, and were perplexed when Ang Lee made it into some weird art film. But it was a weird art film with a giant green monster smashing everything in sight! I considered it a respite. And it's not like there isn't plenty of action. Watch the scene where he's fighting the helicopters, and he bites the warhead off a missile, and spits it back at them, and not smile. I dare you.

Snakes on a Plane was good in a silly, up too late kind of way. The scene where the guy puts the snake in the microwave to kill it might be the finest cinematic moment in all of history.



I never "got" The Godfather or The Wizard of Oz. I have tried and failed to watch both movies on several occasions. (obligatory link of Peter describing why he doesn't like The Godfather)

I have made it all the way through The Wiz, but only because I couldn't believe what I was seeing.


And this is what I do instead of studying for finals.

Blah

So football season is over. I'm going to have to change my homepage to something other than the college football scores. Sure there's the pros, the methadone to my NCAA smack, but it's just not the same.

Michigan ended up in The Capital One Bowl, against Florida (at least the game is on New Years Day). Ohio State got miracled into the championship game against a similarly fortuitous LSU, whose coach we didn't end up stealing. They're both deserving teams, but so are about 6 others. Don't hold your breath for a blatantly appropriate (and profit destroying) playoff system to ensue anytime soon.

Illinois is representing the Big Ten in the Rose Bowl. Illinois? Well, they did hand Ohio State its only loss, but still. Michigan is supposed to be in the Rose Bowl and everyone knows it (we have the same conference record and we did beat them at home, afterall). Just make me proud Illinois, make me proud. USC is a tough team, but also ripe for the take down by an upstart (see Stanford). Pasadena might as well be a home game for the Trojans, but Illinois beat the Buckeyes at home.


Aside from football, I've been studying chemistry. It's pretty fun. Being back on campus I mean, though I do find the chemistry fun in my own dorky way. I've been reading books about quantum mechanics for entertainment since I was 14, so alot of this is old hat (ladies, he's also a Rush fan!).


You know what else is fun? Not working. Oh yeah, that still feels good. I recently talked an engineer working for a defense contractor into quitting his job. Haha! Take that, suckers!


I splurged on the latest Simpsons game, PS2 version (did I mention that I'm still not working?). For the fan, this is seriously funny shit. One of the levels is called The Super Happy Fun Fun Game, and you ally with Mr. Sparkle to fight dirt, all the while running around as an anime Homer, eating sushi and fighting sumo wrestlers. You don't want to know about the French level, where your goal is to collect all the white flags. It's not all cultural though. Most of it is a parody of games in general (e.g. -- you collect "clichés" from the comic book guy, such as "Exploding barrels, oh real original", etc). Even though the gameplay is subpar, I highly recommend it to any Simpsons fan, if for nothing else than the original content.


I know I've been neglecting things around here, and I'll keep doing that as finals are approaching. I just wanted to stop by and say hello to the few who routinely stop by anyway (thanks). I'll come back to kill this blog off and start another, at least.



I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and I wish you the best for Xmas and New Years! (except for you, stinky. you know who you are)