Drunk terms

Just in time for New Years. These terms aren't actually used anywhere, but out of the list, here are a few favorites with some comments:

Deja booty - When a drunk inexplicably has sex with a person that he/she swore he/she would never speak to ever again, again. -- Oh, haven't we all been there before.

Deserter - A full beer, possibly hidden, found when cleaning up the next day after a party -- I've also heard this referred to as a "bitch beer". The female proclivity for abandoning beers is well known. If you can't force down a partial beer you don't want, you have no business drinking at all. Beer has a low alcohol percentage, so you should be well within your margin of error if you add one more beer and then cut off. Or just go pour it out if you don't want it. I couldn't care less. Just don't put me through the pain of knowing a beer was wasted.

Drink shrink - Those who, after a few drinks, discover they have the ability to psychoanalyze and offer solid personal advice to their friends and/or strangers -- I must admit, I am guilty of this one.

Driving by brail - Using the sound and feel of the road turtles to keep your car on the highway -- I do not recommend drinking and driving in any way shape or form. Call a damn cab, you effin' moron. I'll even pay your fare, for your sake and others. But I like this one because in Seattle every road has bumpy reflectors along the sides and down the yellow lines, hence you really can "drive by brail" here. That may seem unremarkable to you, but I grew up in West Virginy, where we were all too busy boinkin' our cousins and a fiddlin' to rename "reflectors" as "turtles" and then distribute them about town. Hyuk! Hyuk!

Felony juice - Tequila -- See also: whisky.

Frontloading - Getting drunk before going to a nightclub because the club’s drinks are expensive -- I thought this was just common sense.

I'm going to cut it off here before I lose any more self respect. Y'all take 'er easy now.