Don't do blow

I found this hilarious little blurb in a local weekly called The Stranger, while I was killing brain cells at The Bar. Just bear with her self-dick-sucking, it's worth it. It's not reproduced on their website, so I'm typing this all in. Emphasis is in the original.

Don't Do Blow
by Sandra Oh

HELLO, THIS IS SANDRA OH. Perhaps you recognize me from ABC's Grey's Anatomy, on which I play the attractively wry surgical intern Cristina Yang, a role that recently earned me a Golden Globe. Or perhaps you know me from my film work, such as Sideways, in which I played a sexy sommelier with a violent streak, or Under the Tuscan Sun, in which I played Diane Lane's friend with a lesbian streak. However, today I am speaking to you solely as Sandra Oh, concerned citizen, and I have one thing to say: Don't do blow.

After so many years in L.A., I thought I'd seen it all when it came to coke. Then I started filming Grey's Anatomy in Seattle and goddamn -- you freaks can totally put it away! As a member of a minority or two -- I'm Korean Canadian, thank you very much -- I'm sensitive to sweeping assumptions about large groups of individuals. But what the fuck is wrong with you people? I look around Seattle and it's like California in the 70's, only everybody is pale and nobody dresses like Stevie Nicks.

Forget how coke turns everyone into an asshole -- the medical detriment alone should be enough to put you off the blow for good. Or maybe you all cherish the threat of decimated nasal passages, dead sensory nerves, perforated colons, and bowel gangrene. Whatever. I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV, and you should listen to what I'm telling you. Don't do blow.

Love,
Sandra Oh

I like this little blurb because it's funny and also because I learned a new word: sommelier. Learning new words is my favorite thing not involving midget strippers.

And for the record, I have yet to see any blow here in Seattle. Granted, I'm not looking for it either. And anyone who knows anything about coke knows that it's everywhere, if you but care to scratch the surface. Don't do (hard) drugs (on weekdays) kids.

Coke is bad, m'kay.

Except Diet Coke, of which I imbibe about a 2 liter of per day. God help the world if they ever run out of Diet Coke. I think I'd go on a bloody rampage.

UPDATE: Turns out this is online afterall. I hope The Stranger doesn't mind that I wrote out something of theirs and posted it on the internet.