Slutty Girl Appreciation DayTM
I say this on behalf of all men,
In esteemed dedication to one of the best of the all-time favorite types of girl:
Slutty girls, we love you! You're there to fullfill our physical needs when we need that, and nothing more. You ask and expect nothing more of us, and us of you. Us guys just want you to know that you're appreciated.
"I'm not looking for a relationship" might be the sexiest thing a girl can say, because we know she isn't going to nag us or try to change us. It's just going to be dinner, wine, and a sex romp. Bonus points for being on the pill. Wouldn't you say that's more honorable than faking love for someone?
And it sure as hell beats going to a strip club. I generally avoid strip clubs because I find it a waste of money. I suppose for some guys it's worth a hundred bucks to have a vapid semi-hot girl of questionable repute grind your crotch and then not screw you. I don't.
Of course, bachelor parties are an exception. They require a certain level of skankiness that only a stripper can provide. And women, really, strippers aren't all that great. There's no reason to get jealous.
They're usually only semi-attractive and dumber than this here der-knob. It's just entertainment, and a form of it that is way overpriced. I've laughed at all the strippers I've ever seen. They really aren't very sexy at all. Rest assured, your man is never going to leave you for a stripper.
I would rather find, you guessed it, a slutty girl. Oh sure, a rewarding meaningful relationship is what I truly want and is what we're all looking for. But who ever really finds that anyway? There are alot of fakers out there. You don't have to fake anything with a slutty girl, which is why "slut" shouldn't be a pejorative. We just happen to understand each other.
It's fine as long as you're honest about your feelings. Whatever you imagine the arrangement being, you really should clear the air before the sex. I find it makes for a better time. Unless she just goes right for it; then you can assume that it's just sex, and nothing needs to be said. And if you meet and have sex on the same day, there is no obligation to ever speak again. Don't think otherwise.
So slutty girls: here's to you! The Seattle Scribe stands aside and salutes you and your promiscuous ways. You perform a service that's sorely needed, and you obviously enjoy it. The world would be a less dangerous, happier place if there were more of you around (the Middle East, hello???). You are loved in that whole non-actual-love sense. Let's screw!
That said, any potential future daughter of mine will be allowed to date. When she's 35 (just kidding sweetie).
posted by RWBB @ 9/20/2006 01:15:00 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I knew it! Those tricky girls! Well, at least I have plausible deniability.
And yes, of course one good non-slutty girl is the end prize. But these short term prizes sure are fun, and I'm beginning to wonder if there really are non-slutty girls out there? They sure seem to be outnumbered.
I'm beginning to see the wisdom in the phrase "They're *all* that type of girl". You just have to unlock the raging slut within. My favorite example is a girl my buddy picked up, and after the night of fun, she broke it off with him because he isn't religious enough. Believing evolution over creationism was the main sticking point.
Let me repeat that so it will sink in, the girl who left my buddy because he wasn't sufficiently pious, met and had sex with him on the same day! Maybe they're not *all* that type of girl, but most of them are.
And half of my point anyway was that being a slut shouldn't be a bad thing. By women's standards, all men would be considered a slut, before they settle down and get married of course.
As for South Beach, I took off the 25 and then have been maintaining ever since. That took away my double chin and made my clothes fit again, so I guess I got complacent. But medically speaking, I could lose another 25 easy. Thanks for tweaking my nose on that. I need to keep it up, heart disease being in the family and all.
Yeah, slutty doesn't have to mean sleeping around. It can also mean going from knockknock to clothes on the floor in 40 seconds. Women love to be treated that way. Also, tossing them around in a playful way seems to get them hot, like nicely onto the bed. A man must gently dominate.
Haha, I loved the "talking dirty" disclaimer. Funny.
I suppose that's a fair enough distinction between girls and women, the maturity thing. But that allows for females who are perennially girls, and males boys.
I prefer to think of myself as a man who chooses to act like a boy when it suits me. We all regress sometimes, right?
Indulge? Spirits? I know not of what you speak.
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