My actual thoughts on marriage

I put this into someone's comments who I don't know (found them through RCR) and thought I would put them up here. Since I already wrote it out, I may as well counteract my previous immature rant on marriage, which was mostly just for fun. I suppose it makes sense that as we approach the big 3-0 we're all thinking about marriage a little bit.


Here's what I said (spelling corrected):
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I think marriage makes sense if you want to have kids. Otherwise, I would say no. Because as you said, everyone grows and changes. Married couples without kids stay together on occassion, but it's rare. But sharing children is *usually* the extra oomph that keeps couples together for the long haul.

I'd say if your relationship is "good" or "normal" (relative terms, I know) and then you get married, and then you have kids, as long as each person is making an honest effort to make it work, you have a greater than 50% chance of not getting divorced.

It makes sense that sharing a deep love for the same little people who need you would bring people together and cement bonds permanently. When the inevitable changes happen, that love for the kids by both parents will remain, and it's enough to carry most marriages through (I think, I hope). Without that, I'm afraid, people always change and won't necessarily stop loving each other, but will stop wanting to be married.

Oh, and I think anyone who gets married before 30 is just being reckless, given age expectations these days. You have no IDEA who that person is going to be in ten years, and only a reasonable idea of yourself. I think the right age for men is something around 32-36ish. Women I can't speak for, but I'm guessing it's around 28-32 or so (women always want older guys and seem to mature faster -- those doodyheads).

And if I could say something here to the women for a sec. Ladies, think twice before you marry the guy who you sort of get along with, but is making lots of money. I know, it's a cliche. But two women who are extremely close to my heart married for social status and money, and it ended in firey divorce both times. I could be wrong, but I think women get married for the wrong reasons more often than men do.

Run the waiter test. How do they treat waiters and other people who are underlings? You can learn alot about a person that way.

And while I'm at it, please don't cut your hair short. Is that a test to see if your man will still love you or something? Just sayin', it's like us shaving out a bald spot and asking how you like it. You're probably still hot, but you could be at least one full point hotter on the classic 10 point scale with longer hair.